SYLVESTER STALLONE'S UNBREAKABLE SUPERHERO 'SAMARITAN'

Expository intro for SAMARITAN with Sylvester Stallone from 2022 Grade: C—

The last time standard-action-flick icon Sylvester Stallone played a superhero was the last time he would... until now... and both JUDGE DREDD and SAMARITAN concern a backstory involving good against evil brothers, who in this case supposedly died fighting each other, twenty long years ago, and...

Well as the description goes, a ghetto kid thinks an old garbage man named Joe Smith, played by Stallone with a NIGHTHAWKS beard gone grungy gray, is actually yesteryear's titular crime-fighter...

Sylvester Stallone in SAMARITAN

And what should be the most interesting aspect worked better in one of two movies disclosed as having been highly influential, other than UNBREAKABLE with Bruce Willis as a seemingly average, hood-wearing everyman suppressing an inevitable urge to unleash hidden powers— while here our protagonist is stubbornly reluctant for a comeback...

So, more liken to its second inspiration, FINDING FORRESTER, about a curious urban kid who discovers a famously reclusive writer living in the same building, SAMARITAN doesn't take enough time fleshing-out who Stallone's Joe is now before we're rushed into the revelation of who he was then, occurring so quick that the multi-racial ROBOCOP-style street gang (the leader donning a legendary evil helmet like Kylo Ren in the latest STAR WARS) means more to the plot than either Stallone or his young neighbor...

Javon 'Wanna' Walton in SAMARITAN

The latter who's a capable enough child actor, but, by the end of act one, SAMARITAN feels more than halfway through as Old Joe provides cozy wisdom as if they'd known each other for days, even weeks...

Overall making a 100-minute vehicle seem like what it should have been instead: a streaming series, providing an entire pilot episode to reach the point where this tale ends (speaking of which, the bond between mentor and follower starts like Johnny Lawrence meeting his protege Miguel: from a trash bin leading to a protective fight against slightly-older ruffians, providing the former COBRA star his very own version of COBRA KAI).

Sylvester Stallone in SAMARITAN

Sylvester Stallone in SAMARITAN

Sylvester Stallone in SAMARITAN

This scene's COBRA-like heavy Pilou Asbæk in SAMARITAN

Sylvester Stallone in SAMARITAN

Pilou Asbæk in SAMARITAN

Sophia Tatum as the villain's moll from SAMARITAN

Opening Credits roll for SAMARITAN

Providing Stallone's production credit for SAMARITAN

Sylvester Stallone eats exposition-flavored ice scream for SAMARITAN

Sylvester Stallone in SAMARITAN

Opening montage exposition for SAMARITAN

Pilou Asbæk dons the evil mask for SAMARITAN

Sylvester Stallone in SAMARITAN