LON CHANEY TRIPLE FEATURE EXPLOITATION HORROR HOWLERS

Unsung Scream Queen Connie Nelson circa 1971 Score: **

DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN: The worst thing about this Al Adamson doozy... involving monologue-driven mad scientist J. Carrol Naish working out of a carnival fun house with an axe-wielding idiot man-child, Lon Chaney, sent to kill women for experiments to give his other employee, a brooding Count Dracula, eternal life...

All the while reanimating Frankenstein's monster who resembles a melted cabbage... is that it can be quite boring with tedious bouts of dialogue, spouted mostly by two love-struck heroes: a man helping his new girlfriend (after pictured beauty Connie Nelson's killed with Gary Kent) to find her lost sister and eventually happening upon... everything mentioned, plus Adamson's SATAN'S SADIST biker leader Russ Tamblyn returning on wheels. But, somehow, it can be surprisingly involving too. And really, really awful... but that's a given.

Lon Chaney Jr. with Jill Banner Year: 1967 Rating: ***

SPIDER BABY AKA THE MADDEST STORY EVER TOLD: Whenever there's a horror film about a backwoods family of dimwitted yet dangerous loons, it's usually compared to, or accused for stealing from, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE... but no longer...

This beloved cult curio bordering on savage slasher and old fashion comedy-horror, written and directed by Jack Hill, stars Lon Chaney as the caretaker of two lethal sisters and their lanky, lughead brother played by scene-stealer Sid Haig, is not only groundbreaking and shocking, but lots of fun. Most of the fear is implied: as outsiders visit the house, will Lon be able to stop the twisted clan including cult starlet Beverly Washburn and the gorgeous, most lethal and titular Jill Banner, using knives like spider's teeth... from murdering them? Although things drag in the middle, it's still a minor classic... albeit a bit often too sporadically silly and cartoonish for its own good, or, bad... either most likely entirely intentional.

The greatest horror costume ever Year: 1959 Rating: *1/2

THE ALLIGATOR PEOPLE: Take away one scene where Lon Chaney Jr., as a loco bayou local, tries raping the main character, a woman who's sought out a rural mansion to where her supposedly dead husband might be hiding out...

This infamous creature feature, about a man who is turning into an alligator thanks to a (yet another) mad scientist, is a complete, unsatisfying dud. The makeup is almost as silly as the sluggish pace, although the climactic creature is worth a few laughs. But overall this one sinks to the bottom of the swamp: and stays there.

Beverly Garland does a Home Alone reaction to the gator masked menace of ALLIGATOR PEOPLE

John Bloom and Regina Carrol to have and hold in DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN

The gorgeous Jill Banner as the titular killer babe in SPIDER BABY

Richard Crane and Beverly Garland in The Alligator People