UNFAIR REVIEW OF ENTOURAGE BY A COMPLETE OUTSIDER

2015 rating: *

To judge much less review a movie taken straight from a popular cable television series that you have never seen, or ever wanted to see, is like judging religion or that religion’s followers, or the very God they worship, based on one Easter Sunday sermon you were forced to experience...

So let’s just say, in the case of the theatrical ENTOURAGE, whoever that show’s fan base are worshipping lacks anything resembling a soul... in this particular venue. 

First off, the character who is famous and needs to be more famous doesn’t really seem like he’d be more popular than a… guy on a cable series. Not that that’s not enough, nowadays… While we old-timers brag about the classic films of yesteryear, let’s face it, the Millennial generation are growing up with cable shows that equal and can even surpass some of the coolest nostalgic films… But this particular venture just doesn’t work: The four characters seem as one person, and none have anything special to say, really…

Except maybe the overly obvious comic relief Kevin Dillon as the less attractive brother of the famous heartthrob; a perfect fit since, well, he experienced that while Matt Dillon reigned in the early/middle 80’s… The main difference is Kevin’s a good actor, and his blunt muscle-headed character is pretentious and talentless, and not in that order… Yet he seems more like an imitation of an oblivious loser than the real thing. 

The guy who seems to be the central force is busy (possibly) knocking up beautiful women, and is about as stressed as someone who catches a flu after winning the lotto, so there’s no one to really sympathize with or relate to. He's not even a cool Draper-like anti-hero. Meanwhile the fourth banana, smitten with a bad ass celebrity, has a D-story that doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. 

If anyone in particular “steals the movie” it’s the same guy that probably stole the show, and Jeremy Piven, as the talent agent turned fledgling studio chief, has always given his all – anyone who hasn’t seen JUDGEMENT NIGHT, should… He brilliantly polishes a turd…

But even his infectious energy and bullish charm can’t cover this stench, and the four guys he deals with and stresses over don’t seem legitimate or realistic at all: Perhaps it’s the awkward transition into theaters, an incoherent script full of wannabe-PLAYER industry clichés along with a bagful of useless cameos, but if anyone hasn’t seen, or doesn’t know anything about, ENTOURAGE the HBO series, it’s probably best to discover the medium before slipping into the large – 'cause this mess is completely small time.