WALKING DEAD DIARIES: SEASON 5 FINALE CONQUER

Title: Conquer

“We need this place,” Michonne tells a recovering Rick. “We had to stop being out there.”

Truer words have never been spoken. The show was hitting a wall when the gang didn’t have any to protect them. Wandering around in a zombie apocalypse is a good thing, usually, in other projects, but THE WALKING DEAD had proven that trend wrong. Redundant plots and corny dialogue was making Jack a very dull boy.

Grade: D

Thank God for the suburban town of Alexandria, but last week Rick not only spoke too soon, he spoke way too much. And speaking of speaking… In the beginning of the series, Rick found out everything from a guy named Morgan Jones, who also shared to the audience that the world had gone to pot… And in the prologue, Mr. Exposition is back, unveiling the reason behind the forehead-W, and heading closer to the prime destination… Kind of like Bob Dylan catching up to the Beatles.

As for the fear of someone important or beloved dying… nothing to worry about, folks. Only two extremely lame ducks buy the farm (a poor man's Hershel and Governor moment). And the turnout of CONQUER is anything but. Most of the episode cuts back and forth from a bland meeting, where an absent Rick might be banished from the town, to a few things: Daryl and Aaron holed up inside a car with a hundred surrounding walkers (think Dee Wallace and Danny Pintauro in CUJO); Father Gabriel having a hard time with the concept of self defense; a Glenn vs Nicolas QUIET MAN style fight in the great outdoors; and we're introduced to future villains, seeming like the bogus Hatfields to Daryl Dixon’s real McCoy.  

Not that this finale lacked action, but it felt like 30-minutes stretched into 90. A Super Bowl game with two touchdowns – by the same team.