CAMERON DIAZ AND JASON SEGEL IN SEX TAPE

year: 2014 rating: *

At one time, sex comedies had a group of lusty yet inexperienced teens on a quest to lose their virginity… But those teens are now middle aged, and perhaps too experienced…

Centering on a married couple played by a proving-she's-still-hot Cameron Diaz as Annie, and a frighteningly skinny Jason Segel as Jay, both with the kind of dream jobs allowing their characters enough free time and money to get in and outta trouble: Jay manages a radio station, while Annie writes a blog about to be purchased by a conservative outlet. And perhaps their total lack of chemistry is intentional, igniting the plan to film themselves screwing in just about every position possible, and then some.

Far before the HANGOVER style ending, when we get a montage of what really happened in the bedroom, the pornographic contents are mysterious to almost everyone – instead of erasing the file, Jay sent it to a select group of people who may or may not have viewed it… This includes her parents, the mailman, a suburban couple, and last but not least, Mr. Real Life Sex Tape himself, Rob Lowe as Hank, on the verge of buying her blog and providing Annie with the most to lose. Although in an awkward, overlong, unfunny scene, it turns out Hank is so shockingly wild and open-minded, that when Jay stealthily dashes around his house seeking the ipad… stalked by a ferocious German Shepard with more lives than an alley cat… the entire point of the story (not much to begin with) is lost, and the urgency becomes nonexistent far too soon.

Once the initial scavenger hunt is complete, we’re left the couple dealing with a preposterous blackmailing scheme where the movie, attempting HANGOVER style outdoor shenanigans, becomes so futile and contrived it’s nearly impossible to describe, much less review.