THE EVIL DEAD REMAKE

year: 2013 cast: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci rating: *1/2

Ever walk into a movie when it’s halfway through and had no idea what's going on, who the characters are or what on earth they're doing? Well with this extremely bloody remake of the Sam Raimi cult "classic" THE EVIL DEAD, you don’t have to stroll in late for the doomed teenagers to mean absolutely nothing. They include a brother and sister… The sister, Mia, is a heroin addict and her older bro and friends brought her up to a remote cabin to detox.

Mia's the only character that really matters since she’s the one the "Evil" enters outside the perimeter of the cabin. When she returns she’s got a bigger problem than withdrawals. After being locked in the basement, a frantically cursing Mia turns into a more athletic version of Linda Blair from THE EXORCIST. Other characters include a snoopy longhaired brainy guy that, during the setup, discovers a Book of the Dead. When he speaks several words aloud, we get a familiar POV rushing towards the cabin. Once inside, each kid becomes horrifying to their friends and downright disgusting to the audience.

With an overabundance of grotesque special effects, there’s little time for effective suspense or worthwhile chills. It even rains blood at the ending, which, when Mia faces off with her final adversary, desperately wielding a chainsaw… like Ash (Bruce Campbell) did many years ago… there’s a pretty decent standoff, finally giving us somebody – or perhaps something – to actually root for.