THE BIG WEDDING

year: 2013 cast: Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton, Susan Sarandon, Robin Williams rating: *

Robert De Niro’s character Don, whose son is about to get married, has a pretty good line in the beginning of THE BIG WEDDING, something having to do with marriage being liken to a phone call at night… First the ring, and then you wake up. Well here we have more of a message – an extremely familiar one at that –  spoken on a broken down answering machine.

After about twenty frantic minutes of all the characters... including sons, daughters and girlfriends... bitching at each other incessantly, an actual "plot" surfaces: Don and his ex-wife Ellie, played by Diane Keaton, has to pretend to be married (BIRDCAGE, anyone?) in order to please their adopted son’s uptight catholic mother, who frowns on divorce. The first of many problems is simply: Who the heck cares about this woman anyway?

Robert De Niro, relating back to that initial joke, phones in a lazy performance but his beard fits him well – you can say he looks better now, at the beginning of being legitimately old, than he did ten years ago as an aged version of his younger self.

But his character's crass humor is more fitting to the young. Spouting Judd Apatow style sexual jokes is awkward and unfunny throughout this muddled mess of a romantic comedy, leading to that big wedding only lasting ten minutes before the film ends quickly.

Well that was one prayer answered…