cult film freak: BROOKE SHIELDS IN THE NEO NOIR 'WET GOLD' W/ BRIAN KERWIN

year: 1984 rating: ***

The title sounds like a porno flick set in an expensive jacuzzi, but WET GOLD is straight out of classic cinema. In John Huston’s TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE, Humphrey Bogart, Tim Holt and John’s father Walter go loco for gold in the mountains… why should it be any different when it’s buried in a shipwreck?

Our cast includes Brooke Shields at the tail end of her already fading movie career, finding solace in the TV movie genre. As a dreaming hostess at a seaside dive, Brooke’s sexy Laura is tempted when an old man named Sampson, played by Burgess Meredith, fills her head with stories of that shiny stuff that can set you for life, and beyond.

Laura’s boyfriend is a rich kid who was imprisoned for drug trafficking, falsely or otherwise. You’ve probably seen Thomas Byrd on TV shows during the 1980’s. For a C-list actor he does a pretty good job as the token Bogart while the dependable Holt character is Brian Kerwin’s Ben Keating, a rogue diver hired by Laura to help recover gold bars from the sunken ship that went down years ago, killing the entire crew except Meredith’s Sampson.

Sporadic scenes of the group diving in and around the wreck (obviously influenced by THE DEEP) are bland and ponderous, and the already faded DVD transfer holds up the worst during these sequences. The best moments occur on the boat itself as steamy melodrama ensues, especially after Laura and Keating hook up, making Byrd an unpredictable antagonist who sets an edgy tone throughout.

If you rent this made-for-TV pulp adventure to watch an older version of the BLUE LAGOON starlet wearing a tight white bikini it’s completely understandable, but be warned... you might just be surprisingly entertained in the process.