SPOCK BRANCHES OUT: EVERYBODY MUST GET SPORED ON STAR TREK

Just Say No To Spores

In the Original STAR TREK: SEASON ONE episode THIS SIDE OF PARADISE, Captain James T. Kirk is up against an adversary more challenging than a Klingon warship or lizard monster, and ironically this new challenge feels really good.

"Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute," Kirk says. "We must march to the sound of drums. "But before this realization, the crew lands on a farmland planet that, having harbored an Earth settlement years earlier, was supposed to be wiped out from... something very hard to pronounce. Whatever it was had the capability of the black plague and yet, there are civilians present: all with big bright smiles and a sunshiny countenance.

"Now I would not feel so all alone, because..."

Turns out there are plants called SPORES that shoot out a confetti-like material that makes each crew member, except for Kirk, stoned to the gill.

Under the Spore's influence, Mr. Spock, finally letting his ears down, falls for an old girlfriend. He becomes so giddy as a result of the puking poppy, he sees dragons in the clouds and eventually hangs upside down from a tree.

See what love and a head-change can do to even the most logical among us?

Doc McCoy yearns for a Mint Julep and eventually even Kirk falls prey to this substance that couldn't be more blatantly symbolic of a drug sweeping the nation at the time... Marijuana!

Well if anyone knows where to get their hands on this material, please contact the Starship Enterprise. Our five year mission is at an end, and has been for a while...

What we have here is a Vulcan condom ad

"Well that's the second time man's been thrown out of paradise," Dr. McCoy, sobering up, says as the Enterprise leaves the planet.

"No, no Bones," replies Kirk pensively. "This time we walked out on our own... Maybe we weren't meant for paradise... Maybe we were meant to fight our way through. Struggle, claw our way up... Scratch for every inch of the way."

Wouldn't you know, the Spores exist on a green planet

But now, all the work is done. Why not hang around getting Spored all day long? Perhaps Uhura can sing her lungs out as we devour gallons of tranya and plomeek soup whilst playing multi-level chess till dawn...

For the time has arrived... To live long and party!

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