THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY

year: 2012 rating: **

In LORD OF THE RINGS, the old Bilbo compares wearing the ring – and the weight it bore upon his soul – as butter stretched onto too much bread. That’s exactly what director Peter Jackson does to THE HOBBIT, at least judging by this overlong first outing of three completed films.

As a novel, THE HOBBIT can be described either as a lightweight alternative to THE LORD OF THE RINGS or a nice snack before a big meal. Turning it into a sprawling epic, Jackson piles way too much exposition, backstory and add-ons: including a revenge tale involving a gigantic one-armed Orc (with the expressions of an irate professional wrestler); a klutzy wizard with a bird's nest on his head riding a sleigh pulled by bunny rabbits; and human-shaped mountains fighting each other during a thunderstorm. The most exciting parts of the book seem placed within THE UNEXPECTED JOURNEY as filler action sequences between tedious bouts of dialog and a few horrific songs. A meeting in Rivendale, where the top brass discuss what's to come (including a shadowy Necromancer), is overlong and boring, while the presence of Saruman is meaningless: he was needed much more in RETURN OF THE KING where he doesn’t show up at all.

As the title character, Martin Freeman looks perfect as Bilbo Baggins, the uptight Hobbit hired as a “burglar” to join a band of Dwarves to reclaim a stolen treasure. His delivery of lines seems more befitting a modern comedy than the fantastical Middle Earth. Yet when the stakes are raised and he puts his neurosis aside, Bilbo comes alive. But he’s not a character to truly invest in… especially in the shadow of Elijah Wood’s Frodo. While he’s supposed to be reluctant to join in on the adventure, he underplays his hand and never seems the most important part of a story bearing his name. It’s the dwarf Thorin who gets most of the attention, obviously intended as the new Aragorn – with a long brooding face and the bravado of an intrepid hero, he’s the one to root for. Thorin alone carries the honor of the dwarves and the basic plot to get their riches back from a dragon. Even in Tolkien’s book, all the dwarf names get dizzying and it’s hard to center on anyone else. And while Richard Armitage does his best to shine, he has too many distractions to compete with.

Ian McKellen’s noticeably aged Gandalf provides so many 11th hour rescues, there’s little suspense on how the antagonists will get out of each predicament. He's like that BOMB button on the video game that provides a much too easy out: The best scenes involve the gang escaping from inside an Orc mountain, and then going up against a pack of ferocious (though much too computerized) wolves. Although the Orc King, who looks somewhat menacing, has a comically sarcastic voice, distracting from what should be a formidable creature… He seems more apt to deliver a standup routine than end lives. And this is the problem throughout much of the film: an awkward balancing act between a children’s movie and a gruesome bloody epic. Even the meat eating Troll trio, kickstarting the book’s action, come across as The Three Stooges here.

The “Riddles in the Dark” segment, technically the most important, where Bilbo finds the ring in Gollum’s murky lair as they trade riddles back and forth, is completely wasted thanks to Gollum’s hard to understand delivery of either the riddles or the answers. Andy Serkis (and the special effects team) overacts the writhing creature to an embarrassing level. Martin Freeman tries hard to make the scene as important as it should be – but he’s competing with a hyperactive cartoon. Who knows, maybe THE HOBBIT trilogy will improve after this bloated mess. Based on a delicious book replete with nonstop adventures, our heroes should escape more deadly obstacles rather than wallowing in pretentious melodrama backed by searing music that, even during cool fight scenes, is way too deep and operatic. Since LORD OF THE RINGS was broken into three movies just like THE HOBBIT, perhaps it should have been nine: three films for each volume. Sure, that would have been much too much information. Exactly the problem here…

It's apparent Peter Jackson is too close to the material at hand. If another director took a stab at THE HOBBIT, it may have turned out more of a solitary adventure rather than a desperate attempt to glue one long saga together.