CHANNING TATUM IN MAGIC MIKE

year: 2012 cast: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfe, Olivia Munn, Matthew McConaughey rating: *

Secretary’s night out: The ladies fill the seats, ready for action. The movie begins, resembling a monotone pseudo documentary as we're introduced to the man of the hour: Channing Tatum’s Mike works roofing buildings and meets a younger protégé... yet he's got a secret job, and everyone but Alex Pettyfer’s naïve and quiet Adam knows what it is…

Now we cut to the chase... Mike's a male stripper in an ensemble led by the energetically egotistical Matthew McConaughey as Dallas, whose over the top performance tries hard in a cast seeming part of an awkward student film. And that’s the problem.

While MAGIC MIKE’s trailer promises a night in heaven for target audiences, director Steven Soderbergh is the wrong man for the job. Each scene builds with the pace of a slug, and the characters, especially newcomer Adam… going from non-dancer to professional to out of control drug addict… have little progression into a lifestyle shown in dull, uninteresting bouts of dialogue. Especially the implied love story between Mike and Adam’s sister Joanna (Olivia Munn). With a wry, bland persona, Joanna waits for Mike and Adam to come to their senses and straighten up with a worthy, less provocative gig. Problem is, that’s not what those horny secretaries in the theater paid for (she's the audience cockbocker!).

The dance numbers occur fast and furious; too bizarre and over-produced to seem legitimate. And as Tatum, who based the script on his real experiences, is already planning a sequel, here’s some advice: since women need the kind of guilty pleasures men are granted in movies and TV, try making the follow-up more shallow and glossy like SHOWGIRLS and COYOTE UGLY. Those movies are bad, sure, but they deliver.