CATWOMAN

year: 2004 cast: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone rating: ** camp value: ****

“I’m a woman; I’m used to doing all kinds of things I don’t wanna do.” Although Sharon Stone’s prancing villain speaks these ironic words, perhaps actress Halle Berry should have. This is an awful movie loaded with unintentional hilarity. Berry plays Patience Philips, a different kind of comic book loser than we’re used to. Meek, humble, totally gorgeous and scared of her own shadow, Philips is lured to her apartment ledge to save a cat. She’s rescued by gallant cop who sees instant potential in this distressed damsel – perhaps it’s her supermodel appearance. Cut to the important stuff: Patience, an underling at a cosmetics corporation headed by Sharon Stone and her husband... distributing non-aging makeup with bad long-term effects... takes a package to the factory and, for no apparent reason, is hunted and killed by goons. Now her life, or um, death changes everything. Revived by the same feline that’d lured her to the edge, Patience becomes Catwoman: a lithe vixen climbing walls and leaping around at will. Whenever Berry provides her feline traits – like hissing in the face of adversaries or sensuously purring dialog – the film goes from vapid to pure camp cinema. In fact this entire adaptation of the Batman heroine, with horrendously corny dialog and limp action sequences pumped by a techno/R&B soundtrack, constantly reminds us we’re not supposed to laugh. Making CATWOMAN an iconic howler the likes of SHOWGIRLS and any other guilty pleasure.