title: PIRANHA
year: 2010
cast: Elizabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd, Steven R. McQueen, Ving Rhames
rating: ***
This, a remake in creature name only, more properly described a revision, does what any purposely campy horror movie needs doing: serves up a bevy of characters deserving to (and that the audience anticipates seeing) die horribly: in this case being torn to shreds by killer fish that, because of an earthquake opening a rock shelf beneath a popular party lake, set the fanged fiends free to munch on anyone in the water. Their main course consists of investigating scientists and best of all, a boatload of GIRLS GONE WILD cast and crew. The lead protagonist, a teenage son of the local Sheriff (Elizabeth Shue), happens on board with his would-be love interest. The boat, docked in an isolated spot away from the fish-laden area, is safe for a while, letting us know the characters before the piranha hone in. On the peripheral (and soon on board) are his little brother and sister, who he’s supposed to be babysitting – adding the same children-in-distress element Joe Dante’s original had with the camp kids at the river. While not coming close to the Dante (Roger Corman produced) classic, it succeeds in doing its own thing its own way. And as that film’s basis was a parody of JAWS, this begins with Richard Dreyfuss as “Matt” (singing “Show Me The Way To Go Home”), not so lucky this time around. And while the original, because of the low budget, succeeded with character-development and implied suspense (like JAWS), this has skies the limit C.G.I. that, an hour in, when the buildup’s replaced by bloody pandemonium i.e. the big feast, becomes a standard gore fest but with at least a few characters worth saving.
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