6/18/2011

GREEN LANTERN

year: 2011 rating: *
There are a few things a Superhero movie needs, that is, besides the superhero. The origin of power and how they acquire it, and a villain. This has neither. Well, not really... 

The tale begins in outer space, introducing another world and a big nasty alien destroying it, making one of the good aliens… a superhero in his own right… escape with an important ring. He makes for the closest planet to pass on the power, and crash lands on Earth. Meanwhile, a cocky test pilot played by Ryan Reynolds who, like Tom Cruise in TOP GUN, is a handsome hotdogger with a dead dad to live up to and can’t be trusted because of his inevitable method of screwing things up.

Now for the origin of his superpowers: how does he become the Green Lantern? Much too easy. And what happens next? He’s transported to that other world (imagine if the Hulk owned a "Brite-Lite" discotheque) where he gets a quick history lesson, learns to use his powers, and then quits: all within the course of (what seems like) ten minutes. Then, upon returning to Earth as if he’d gone to a pizza parlor, he learns the Military has found the alien’s space ship, and a senator’s frustrated son, Peter Saarsgard lazily channeling John Malkovich, gains his own power – but on accident – from the same alien: turning him into a humanoid version of an overcooked pizza crust instead of a green-clad supermodel.

This is a difficult, if impossible, film to review. And yet, there’s really nothing to give away or spoil, since nothing really happens. While Reynolds isn't as awful as the script, his continuous disbelief about the situation at hand gives the impression we're watching, and he's experiencing, a parody instead of the real thing. And the only plus is his method of creating various objects, from race cars to machine guns to fighter planes, to battle and/or thwart impending forces: but who he’s fighting, and why’s he’s fighting, and what he’s fighting for, remains a complete mystery.

And as for the love interest: there's been deeper romances on Nickelodeon sitcoms. Better character-development too. (And now, some Ryan Reynolds for nostalgia fans, from the classic soap FIFTEEN.)

1 comment:

  1. I'm not surprised it turned out the way it did. I'm more surprised that they made a GREEN LANTERN movie in the first place. Yes it's one of the GREAT OLD DC characters that parents and grandparents would recognize the name but I never found GL interesting except when he rolled with GREEN ARROW but comics are as old as me. Only reason I see them doing GL is, "Dude, think of all the CGI. It'll look cool bro."

    Seriously you know how much I love comic books. But movie studios need to stop making these movies for 5 years or so. We're getting so oversatureated with mediocre or just crappy comic book movies that when a good one comes along we'll have no interest in seeing it.

    As always love your reviews sir.

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