JOHNNY DEPP & ROB MORROW IN PRIVATE RESORT

year: 1985 rating: **

What makes 1980's sex comedies work are the unlucky, insecure yet extremely horny teen males trying hard (throughout the entire film) to find paradise. The problem here is that the two protagonists, played by Johnny Depp (after ELM STREET and before JUMP STREET) and Rob Morrow, are there already.

Without a care in the world, the boys breezily hang at a plush private resort: either poolside or within the hotel itself. They have everything they need including lots of rich women and token good girl Emily Longstreth: Their only snags are completely unfunny hotel employees and mobster Hector Elizondo (whose trophy wife wants Depp and vice versa) seeking a rich old lady's diamonds. All these one-dimensional characters continuously collide in a hyperactive yet tiresome romp liken to a Blake Edwards comedy, but without any laughs and lead characters who don't have enough to lose, not even their virginity, to gain any victory in the end.