PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES

title: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES
year: 2011
cast: Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz
rating: **

Camera-loving Johnny Depp returns as the flitting, rum-drunk Captain Jack Sparrow in this fourth installment that attempts a brand new start.

Jack’s lovable first mate is imprisoned, and after an amusing courtroom ruse, and learning of a map leading to the Fountain of Youth, there’s an adventurous escape (or two) and somewhere in-between, our prancing hero meets both his long lost love and match: Penélope Cruz as a con-artist with wits equaling beauty.

Jack’s double-crossed and becomes a slave on a pirate ship captained by none other than Blackbeard, who, while looking formidable and frightening, does little more than spout exposition about the Fountain and confusing “instructions” on how to make it work.

There’s a nifty battle of pirates verses mermaids: evil fanged fish with the speed of raptors. But when the ship lands on the Fountain-bearing island, the already flawed romp hits a wall and never recovers. Tedious bouts of dialog replace sporadic action, and Depp's charismatic jester seems out of place within the prolonged, plot-heavy third act.

And not to forget a peripheral love story between a young handsome missionary (filling the Orlando Bloom void) and a pouting, elfin mermaid... although by the end you'll want to.